Reaching out to teens who live in abuse

Lisha Lender

My name is Lisha.  I grew up in an abusive home. I understand the pain and suffering that abuse causes.

Every abuse case is different but the fear, shame, guilt, and loneliness are the same. There is secrecy and lies and the victim's identity becomes lost. Life becomes about survival and relationships are messed up. There is no trust and the world is viewed through the eyes of abuse. 

If you watch the news then you understand that child abuse is part of our world. But it is not just the few cases that make the news. Millions of kids are living in abuse everyday. They are trapped in a life they don't understand and they don't know how to get out of it. Victims are dying inside because they feel abandoned by God and  the world.

Physical, verbal, and sexual abuse, neglect, and living in domestic violence robs kids of their childhood.  

Emotional development stops at the time abuse starts. 

ABUSE LIVES AND THRIVES IN SECRECY. Abusers are the masters of lies: This is why people are so shocked when someone is accused of abusing a child. Abusers are able to live the normal life that other people see and also live the life of the abuser that no one sees or suspects.

We must talk specifically about abuse, we cannot bury it in the "bad stuff happens" generic talk.  Victims blame themselves - we must speak Truth directly to them.

ONETEAR MINISTRY IS HERE TO GIVE A VOICE TO OUR KIDS and to educate the adults who work with them.  A lot of people talk to adults about abuse prevention,  but I bring education to the kids and adults who are dealing with abuse now, for many kids, it is too late for prevention. 

Many people say they do not know anyone affected by abuse, to them I say "1 in 4 girls is a victim of sexual abuse, how many girls are in your youth group? I in 6 boys is a victim of sexual abuse, how many boys are in your youth group? 1 in 3 women is a victim of domestic violence and her kids suffer with her, who are the families in your church?"  

Everyone knows someone affected by abuse. Our church families are not immune to the affects of abuse. 

The truth is so well hidden, even though our own kids are living in silent torment, no one knows, not even those of us who love them most.


I am LISHA, I am the educator at OneTear Ministry.

I educate youth groups and the adults who work with them about physical, verbal, and sexual abuse, neglect and domestic violence.

I am available to come to your location and educate your kids and adults about this very important subject.

This is a non-denominational ministry because God loves all of His children, and they are suffering everywhere.

Email me anytime at or call 763-257-9283 to set up a time for me to talk to your group or for more information.


Depending on the needs of you and your group, content is flexible and will vary depending on the audience - youth, adults, or both combined. 

These can be combined into one longer session or divided into shorter sessions given weekly. 


Definitions of abuse and examples of abuse taken from current media exposure (things the kids have heard about ) and/or other real situations of abuse.


Good and bad behaviors and why kids do what they do. Is it because of abuse or is it some other reason. I acknowledge that not all dysfunctional behavior stems from abuse, it makes the kids think and not be so quick to judge others.


What is behind the lies and secrecy? Getting kids to understand why it is so hard to give a voice to the abuse. Shame, blame, confusion, threats, fear, etc. I also discuss who abusers can be and who victims can be (anyone).


How do people cope, now and later. 


God doesn't cause abuse to happen, people do bad things. Even good people do bad things. It is hard to trust God and believe He loves you. Only God can heal the body, mind, and spirit. 


People who suffer from abuse don't think they have any choices, they feel powerless to change their situation but that is not true, they have a choice. I talk about choices and how to get help.

Email Lisha at or call 763-257-9283 to get more information and to  set up a time for me to educate your youth and your adults. 

Lisha Lender of OneTear Ministry for Abused Teens in Minnesota

Lisha Lender of OneTear Ministry for Abused Teens in Minnesota